Funny Sayings

The Office

1. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
2. God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.
3. First rule of acting: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended.
4. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
5. Of course I don't look busy.....I did it right the first time!
6. Nobody notices what I do, until I don't do it.
7. Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all!
8. I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
9. After all is said and done, more is said than done.
10. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
11. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
13. Inasmuch as the earth is 2/3 water and 1/3 land, it is clear that our time should be divided. 2/3 fishing and 1/3 work.
14. Quote from the Boss: I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.
15. The world is full of willing people -- some willing to work and some willing to let them. -Robert Frost
16. There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
17. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
18. I don't mind if you sleep in class. Only, please do not snore. You are disturbing others who are trying to sleep. -Dr. C. Rao, UW-Whitewater
19. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
20. Oh me oh my. A lovely day is dawning. Oh what a joy I didn't wake up dead. So I can go to school and resume my yawning. And get my sleeping in class instead of in my bed.
21. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
22. The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging, because X was always 10.
23. No matter how many years pass teachers will always use the word obviously, without ever knowing what it means.
24. A morning without coffee is like something without something else.
25. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
26. Sorry - yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
27. It's a biiiig mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
28. Sorry I'm late, I'll leave early to make up for it.
29. There ought to be a better way to start the day than by getting up in the morning.
30. Two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and...
31. Work fascinates me, I can look at it for hours!
32. "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." -Albert Einstein
33. "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?" -Albert Einstein
34. If A equals success, then the formula is _A = X + Y + Z_. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein
35. Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
36. The gradaute with the science degree asks 'Why does it work?' The graduate with an engineering degree asks 'How does it work?' The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much will it cost?' The graduate with an English degree asks 'Would you like fries with that, Sir?'*
37. Conway's Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on - This person must be fired.*
38. If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt on your part to deprive me of my happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic prerogative not to know this material. I'll be out on the playground. -Calivin*
39. If you're good you'll get assigned all the work. If you're REALLY good you will get out of it.*
40. You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.*